Moms do a lot of waiting. It’s an occupational hazard.
Waiting in the parent pick-up line. Waiting for soccer practice to end. Waiting for kids to get ready for school. Waiting for our offsprings’ undying gratitude … cough, cough.
So you’d think after 14 years of the waiting game, I’d be good at it. Or at least used to it.
But waiting still makes me anxious. Restless. Jumpy. Discontent.
And right now I find myself in a very big season of waiting in my life.
God put in my heart to write for Him about 11 years ago. I had very little idea of what I was to write, who I was to be writing for or when that might happen. At the time, I had a toddler and soon I would be pregnant with my son Micah. Who had time to write? Or finish a thought, for that matter. What I did write was for healthcare companies (which I still do to some extent). We needed the money.
The writing God had called me to do seemed elusive, but it was always in the back of my mind. Then, four years ago, I believe He opened the door for me to go to a Christian writing conference. It was life-changing. It was how I began writing for Focus on the Family and some other publications. And I've gone every year since. This summer, I also went to the She Speaks conference in North Carolina.
Throughout these past four years, God has refined me and told me who I am to write for: struggling, imperfect mamas like me who need to experience and feel God's grace. Still, I feel my efforts are clumsy and feeble at times. Am I even following the right path? Considering the struggles I have with my own children, am I worthy or qualified for this calling? (The answer is NO, but He is.)
Right now, I have the opposite problem that I did 11 years ago. I have so many thoughts and ideas about things I want to speak and write about. But God has brought me to a realization in recent weeks: I’m not ready. I’m still in process. I still have too much to learn to write the book that’s been burning inside me for the past decade. I need more wisdom and the gift of experience and perspective.
So, in the meantime, I’m taking notes. I’m trying to be obedient by seizing the opportunities He’s giving me now to use the limited wisdom and experience I have. Someday, the wait will be over. And, by the grace of God, I will be ready.
What are you waiting on in your life right now?
Today I'm linking up to Shell's Pour Your Heart Out meme. Go check her out!