Moms do a lot of waiting. It’s an occupational hazard.Waiting in the parent pick-up line. Waiting for soccer practice to end. Waiting for kids to get ready for school. Waiting for our offsprings’ undying gratitude … cough, cough.
So you’d think after 14 years of the waiting game, I’d be good at it. Or at least used to it.
But waiting still makes me anxious. Restless. Jumpy. Discontent.
And right now I find myself in a very big season of waiting in my life.
God put in my heart to write for Him about 11 years ago. I had very little idea of what I was to write, who I was to be writing for or when that might happen. At the time, I had a toddler and soon I would be pregnant with my son Micah. Who had time to write? Or finish a thought, for that matter. What I did write was for healthcare companies (which I still do to some extent). We needed the money.
The writing God had called me to do seemed elusive, but it was always in the back of my mind. Then, four years ago, I believe He opened the door for me to go to a Christian writing conference. It was life-changing. It was how I began writing for Focus on the Family and some other publications. And I've gone every year since. This summer, I also went to the She Speaks conference in North Carolina.
Throughout these past four years, God has refined me and told me who I am to write for: struggling, imperfect mamas like me who need to experience and feel God's grace. Still, I feel my efforts are clumsy and feeble at times. Am I even following the right path? Considering the struggles I have with my own children, am I worthy or qualified for this calling? (The answer is NO, but He is.)
Right now, I have the opposite problem that I did 11 years ago. I have so many thoughts and ideas about things I want to speak and write about. But God has brought me to a realization in recent weeks: I’m not ready. I’m still in process. I still have too much to learn to write the book that’s been burning inside me for the past decade. I need more wisdom and the gift of experience and perspective.
So, in the meantime, I’m taking notes. I’m trying to be obedient by seizing the opportunities He’s giving me now to use the limited wisdom and experience I have. Someday, the wait will be over. And, by the grace of God, I will be ready.
What are you waiting on in your life right now?
Today I'm linking up to Shell's Pour Your Heart Out meme. Go check her out!
It's so hard to wait. The Bible Study I'm doing right now is on Jonah, called "A Life Interrupted" and a lot of it is about our wants compared to God's plans. I'm learning a lot and your post is reminding me of some of it.
ReplyDeleteYes waiting on God, seems to be a common theme? We do wait as parents too. I will look for that book some day:)
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Your wait may seem long but in the eye's of God, it's just a blink!
ReplyDeleteIt's going to be an inspiring book for sure! Keep up those thoughts!!
I think its great that you have found something so meaningful for yourself. It's so hard to do in the midst of all the waiting and doing we do for others. Glad you have found something that calls you that way . . .
ReplyDeleteWaiting is so hard. I see writing opps for you in the blog and in the short pieces of wisdom you have shared with Focus and others. He is already using your gift for His purpose NOW. That is such a blessing.
ReplyDeleteMakes me wonder what we call waiting, He call life.
Waiting IS hard. I already love your perspective and wisdom gained through 14 years of parenting. So your words are taken to heart for me. But, I do know what you mean and I just know you will write a fantastic book when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteI'm not waiting---God's waiting on ME! I'm dragging and dragging. Everything is aligned and I'm the one stalling. *sigh* I'd rather be the one waiting than feel I'm letting someone down---especially God!
ReplyDeleteOh, Melinda, I can't wait to read that book that God is arranging inside your heart. I do think you've found your niche. I love that we met at the conference.
ReplyDeleteI just finished a season of waiting... waiting for our son through adoption. He's now one, and although I have been not waiting for a year... now I'm waiting to see how God will continue to grow our family.
ReplyDeleteAnd a wise man once said to me, "Perhaps what God is doing to you during the wait is more important than what you are waiting for."
I am still chewing on that, and he said it in a sermon like six months ago. Waiting is hard, but it means God is doing something powerful!
I asked myself the same thing this afternoon. I think I'm waiting to find out.
ReplyDeleteWaiting to know why you're waiting. Is that a thing?
Wow. I'm completely blown away.
ReplyDeleteI read this post and can't help but feel like you wrote it JUST to talk to me... ;-)
I'm just completely amazed.
This is such an incredible affirmation; I've known I was suppose to write, and that it (writing) was a gift God gave me on purpose to use for Him- but I've had no clue what I was to write, (save my blog).
Thank you for your transparency during your waiting game (or getting ready game?).
I just feel like it was a sweet way for the Lord to tell me to hold tight, be patient and wait- and when He's ready- He'll open the door.
Before I read this, there was this part of me that seemed to be sitting on the edge of my seat- feeling bad for not pursuing a specific "something" toward writing, knowing that it's what I'm suppose to be doing.
NOw it seems like my hiney just scooted to the back of the seat and reclined!!!
Where do I find information about these Christian Writing seminars?
You totally nailed it. I've been there for a long while too. We have so much in common. I'm working (taking notes too... after being inspired at a Christian writing conference.... :) and I'm just not feeling it's happening yet. But that it's coming. Someday. And then I just heard my toddler's not going to be going to Kindergarten in two years (so I can dig into that calling!) but the district moved it out a year for her age group. Argh!! Wishing so much that I understood.
ReplyDeletePraying for peace in the wait for us both. I'm emailing you too. We gotta talk, girl!
Oh, Melinda, I know just how you feel. This is a season, and there will be a season when He has everything in place. If you're waiting on Him and staying open to all He's teaching you right now, you can't go wrong.
ReplyDeleteMore power to you -- and more patience, too. Just stay open to Him.
I needed this right now, it is a good reminder that sometimes an unanswered prayer may be frustrating, but it is always right.
ReplyDeleteI have to laugh at the irony. I'm waiting to adopt, and until now, thought I would be done waiting when we bring our kids home. I have a feeling I'll be laughing in car lines and practices for the next 18 or 20 years! ;)
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