If you were a fly on the wall at my house, you'd be sure to hear your share of fussing, complaining and whining. Maybe even a slammed door or two.

But enough about me.

In the pressure cooker that's parenting, I have exploded more than once. And it's harder to clean up than spaghetti night with a toddler.

So after years spent indulging in fruitless self-flogging, I finally let go of my obsession with getting it all 'just right.' I confess...I'm not a perfect parent.

Whew. That felt good.

Now, when my son saunters in with his 42nd tardy of the school year, I let it go. When I hear myself hollering "Whatever!" at my teenage daughter, I move on.

Having it all together is overrated anyway.

And I've determined not to waste God's grace. I'll never get it just right. You won't, either. So read on, sister. If you see a little of yourself in me, I hope it helps to know that you're not alone. Nope. If you're a mom, face it. You're never, ever alone.

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Friday, September 24, 2010

Good Clean Fun: Mum in Flip Flops

It's been nearly 14 years, but I still vividly remember my transition to motherhood.

It was scary, exciting, exhausting and wonderful -- all at the same time. And, suddenly, all the things I thought I "knew" about parenthood didn't translate all that well to reality. I still find that to be true all these years later!

I love Cyrene from Mum in Flip Flops -- this week's Good, Clean Fun blogger -- because she chronicles her journey into the mad, messy world of motherhood with refreshing honesty, humility and wonder. I love reading her sweet posts and am seriously hooked on this girl! She learned early (a lot earlier than I did!) that it's not about perfection in parenting -- it's about grace. Grace for your kids and grace for their mama. Although a new mom, Cyrene has lots of wisdom, humor and encouragement to share. I asked her to tell you a little about herself ...

I count it an honor to be here on Melinda’s blog today! We all know how great she is, so when she first contacted me to tell me I was to be featured – I was given a confidence boost. I’m grateful for the chance to meet her readers (that’s you!) and excited about new blogger friendships that I’m hoping it might bring.

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years now and have a lovely daughter, our Little Miss, who is turning 1 in 2 ½ weeks. Whew, just writing that takes my breath away. The past year seems to have flown by so swiftly and yet it has been the most eventful, unique, incredible, and humbling learning experience I have ever had to go through.


When I was pregnant with our daughter, I read every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy and parenting. I soaked up every solicited and unsolicited advice from family and friends. I also thought, quite nonchalantly, that I could just draw on my experience with helping my mom take care of our youngest (who happen to be twins) and said to myself, “I’ve got this parenting gig down!”

Then she arrived. And turned my world upside down.

Like so many of you, I ended up frustrated, sometimes downright helpless and clueless. No book, no advice could have ever prepared me for the reality and responsibility that comes with having my own child. The sleepless nights were no help. That plus the need to be the Perfect Mom were enough to drive me insane. Thankfully, not only am I somewhat neurotic and obsessive-compulsive, I’m also a quick learner.

Once I realized that I needed to adjust to life with my daughter (and not the other way around), things have been so much simpler. Don’t get me wrong, being a parent still isn’t easy, and I’m still learning as I go along. But just admitting to myself that I’m not Supermom (and never will be) took a lot of the self-inflicted pressure off my shoulders. My expectations and those of the other people around me (or so I thought) were really keeping me from fully enjoying the time I had with my growing baby. I thank God everyday for shaking sense into me early on so I could immerse myself in the joy that she brings. And bad days? They still come – I’m only human. But I now know it happens to everyone and there’s no need to beat myself up for them. I pick myself up, learn from my mistakes and pray that God will help us every step of the way.

I actually started blogging to keep friends and family who are thousands of miles away in the loop. I wanted them to share in every experience with me – the good and the bad. Imagine my surprise when great people like Melinda started reading what I have to say and whose comments encourage me to keep on writing. I am so glad to have found like-minded women who so generously share their hard-won wisdom, and I’m completely floored to be made to feel that I belong in the blogosphere. I hope you have fun getting to know our little family as much as I look forward to meeting and sharing with all you beautiful people.

Mum in Flip Flops

Be sure and visit Cyrene and leave her some comment love!

Note from Melinda: I know I have been seriously MIA from the blogosphere this week. It's been one doozy of a week, which I'm sure I'll be blogging about once I get my wits about me. I've also had a major glitch with my Wordpress transfer -- which I've put on hold until my life gets a little more sane. I've missed chatting and visiting with you all. By the grace of God, I promise I'll be back in action soon!
Melinda

6 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for featuring me on your blog Melinda! I still can't believe it. :)

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  2. I agree with Cyrene completely. It sounds pretty easy when you read the books. Not so when baby makes three!

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  3. Nice interview. Will check her out.

    YOur transition to wordpress seemed painless enough.... ? :O)

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  4. Melinda, thanks for that intro to Cyrene. She sounds like a sweetie and her family is adorable. Will check her out. Have a great weekend.

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  5. That's one of my best friends! So happy for Cy! God bless!!!

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  6. I hope you're doing well Melinda...thinking of you and hope things calm down a bit for you:)

    Cyrene and her family sounds so sweet. I just discovered her myself this past week. Great choice:)

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