Shop 'Til You Drop? Do I Have To?!

You know what to expect when you come here. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Yep. When I started this blog, I vowed to kick my performance-focused, approval-junkie ways to the curb and just tell the unvarnished truth about my sometimes very imperfect self. And I try to share the lessons I’ve learned from my parenting misadventures and humiliation. So glad I can be of service.

Well, my new, wonderful blogging friend Brooke had this awesome idea that’s going to give me a little break from all that painful and embarrassing confessing.

She has this meme called Bad Mommy Rehab where you write about something GOOD you did recently as a parent. Ingenious, right? Yea, well, I gave her the idea. NOT! ;0)

I have to tell you, I had a really hard time thinking of something! Not because I don’t do good things as a parent (really!) but I think it’s just our human nature to remember mostly the negative. I’m much better at poking fun at myself than tooting my own horn. But here goes…

Hello … My name is Melinda and I’m a (Recovering) Mommy Guilt-oholic.

I don’t know where my daughter got it. But that girl can shop. I, myself, am not a big shopper (I think that’s why Mike married me). Sure, I like to get new stuff. But I usually have a good idea of what I want. I go in. I buy it. Shopping trip over.

I don’t get any kind of adrenaline high from being trampled by fellow shoppers, accosted by overzealous salespeople (Would you like to try this sample? NOOOO!) and walking aimlessly from one overpriced store to another.

So I cringed a little when my teenage daughter asked me to take her and two of her friends shopping recently. But then I quickly remembered that not so long ago she was unwilling to be seen with me in the mall. (At least until she realized no mom = no money). So this was progress. And I was “cool” enough to be in the mall not only with her, but her friends.

So, instead of being resigned to doing this, I embraced it. I didn’t think about one thing I “should” have been doing at home. I got past the annoyance of practically needing night vision goggles to avoid bodily injury when I walked into Hollister. I waited patiently as they shopped for underwear in Marshalls. And I even took them to Moe’s for dinner.

And I’m so glad I did. I got to know my daughter a little bit better that day. And her friends. And I think they got to know me a bit better as well.

Good parenting involves talking and listening, instructing and guiding, but I think all of those things often happen best in the context of being willing to kick your agenda and preferences to the curb and embrace the world your child lives in – even if it often seems like a foreign and hostile country. (And, believe me, in middle school, it will.)

Need to kick the guilt, too? Stop by Brooke's place and check yourself in!