A Nerd In Progress

Today was “Nerd Day” at my son’s school. It’s Homecoming Week and he loves to dress up for all the theme days.

Fortunately for him, tomorrow he will revert back to being a darn cool kid.

For me, on the other hand, “Nerd Day” encompassed a good chunk of my adolescence.

If you don’t believe me, photographic evidence will prove you wrong. Not that I intend to share these photos with you. I’m not THAT transparent yet.

But let me give you a mental picture:
Farrah Fawcett hairdo sealed into place with massive amounts of Aqua Net. Big honkin’ 80’s eyeglasses with those oh-so trendy pop-bottle lenses. A severely impaired fashion sense that truly believed that leg warmers and neon-colored costume jewelry was a good idea. Oh, and let’s throw in an overbite and an attractive “metal mouth” for good measure.

Are you cringing yet?

Lest you think I’m exaggerating, my husband has seen photos from this particular era and commented, “Well, you were rather unfortunate-looking for a few years, weren't you?

Thanks, honey. Whatever happened to “Love is blind”??!

If you think my exterior image was a train wreck, you’d be even more aghast at the turmoil going on inside. I was shy, withdrawn, insecure, selfish, angry, sad, immature … often all at the same time.

Yes, 12-year-old me was a bit of a nightmare.

Thank goodness, our development is not complete in childhood. It’s a lesson I have to remind myself of daily as I parent my children.

Just as I am a work-in-progress at the ripe old age of 40, so are my son and daughter. Their present personas are not necessarily an accurate predictor of the man and woman they will become. I thank God that was the case for me!

As our kids reach adolescence it becomes increasingly tempting to parent motivated by irrational concerns about who they “might” become. I have succumbed to that temptation over and over again. And when I do, I tend to “freak out” as Molly would say. I lecture and rant instead of listen and relate.

Fear makes us want to control. And the reality is that the older our kids get, the less control we have. Grasping for it is a futile exercise that only alienates us from the very ones we want to draw close.

I can love them, pray for them, set healthy boundaries and point them to the Father, but the choice about who they are ultimately going to become is theirs alone.

And take it from this Nerd-in-Progress, the future may just be brighter than you think.

When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:19