If you were a fly on the wall at my house, you'd be sure to hear your share of fussing, complaining and whining. Maybe even a slammed door or two.

But enough about me.

In the pressure cooker that's parenting, I have exploded more than once. And it's harder to clean up than spaghetti night with a toddler.

So after years spent indulging in fruitless self-flogging, I finally let go of my obsession with getting it all 'just right.' I confess...I'm not a perfect parent.

Whew. That felt good.

Now, when my son saunters in with his 42nd tardy of the school year, I let it go. When I hear myself hollering "Whatever!" at my teenage daughter, I move on.

Having it all together is overrated anyway.

And I've determined not to waste God's grace. I'll never get it just right. You won't, either. So read on, sister. If you see a little of yourself in me, I hope it helps to know that you're not alone. Nope. If you're a mom, face it. You're never, ever alone.

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Sunday, October 11, 2009

True Identity

My kids should have been born to celebrities.

They probably would have delighted in a lifetime branded as Apple, Coco, Blanket or Sage Moonblood.

Those are names that command some respect.

Molly and Micah, on the other hand? Positively boring. I mean, really, what were we thinking?

Any good parent knows that bearing the name of a fruit or bedcovering is the key to a fulfilling life of mystery and intrigue.

Molly: Okay, “Means” is bad enough, but at least that changes when I get married. But Molly? Please. Why couldn’t you have named me Wakely or Lola?

Wakely? Yes. Why didn’t I think of that?

Sure, Lola’s kind of cute, but all that comes to mind is a lifetime of saying, “Meet my daughter Lola. The showgirl.” (Think Copacabana.)

Meanwhile, my son, Micah, thinks his life would be more worth living if he had only been named “Blakesly.”

Micah: I just like the way it sounds.

My husband’s response: Well, it sounds to me like a kid who gets beat up a lot on the playground.

It reminds me of how the enemy tries to steal our identity in Christ. That feeling that we’re not “enough” -- just as we are -- starts young, doesn’t it?

It’s one of the enemy's favorite tactics. If he can convince our children they’re not anything special, that they can never measure up, the battle is half won. It keeps their expectations low and their view of God small.

For years, I succumbed to feelings of unworthiness. It's paralyzing. Maybe that’s why I’m driven by an overwhelming desire to talk regularly and specifically to my kids about their unique, God-given talents and their immeasurable value – not because of what they do, but because of Whose they are.

I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1
Melinda

18 comments:

  1. My kids have family names that mean gift from God and high, strong tower. I try to remind especailly my daughter age 9 that her worth is from God and she is not like everyone and should not want to be. I'm doing a post on my chickens tomorrow where I touch on that subject. Can't you just see the colleration... :O)

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  2. can you imagine...Wakely and Blakesly?? kinda rhymey...

    I know that is not the point of your post, but it cracked me up just the same.

    Helping our kdis see their identity in Christ...one of most important jobs, huh?

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  3. I love those names...

    Molly and Micah that is.

    I agree with Mike about any kid named Blakesly.

    Stay off the playground or else.

    You're a smart mama to teach your kids about their worth to Christ.

    And in Christ.

    I still struggle with self-worth sometimes.

    Sweet dreams.

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  4. And I thought the Adams family had weird kid names in Pugsley and Wednesday!

    Tell your kids that having a special, unusual name isn't all it's cracked up to be. I have a unique name and it caused me a lot of grief because I was teased mercilessly and no one could ever pronounce it right. You should hear how my name was pronounced at my high school graduation. Mercy!

    Our identity is in Christ alone and anything else falls short.

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  5. Names..! What a timing..! My husband & I are now 'struggling'...we can't decide on a name for the baby. We believe that names are important..b'cos in the Bible - God either change a person's name due to certain 'happenings' or He gave the parents a 'specific' name to give the child...
    P/S: Had a good laugh reading ur post

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  6. identity and names. Yes, I had my identity issues. I have gone from hating my name to valuing my name. And because of why I was name Rosario but because of whom I am in Christ, I have made my name special to me. I chose my daughter's name in memory of husband's mother. I was not aware of the meaning, and now daughter is unhappy. But just like the story of Jabez, we do not need to live up to the meaning of our names, we can transform our name from something not special into something extraordinary. We are special in God's eyes.

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  7. What a tough issue for kids their age! It's hard enough as a teen to feel like "enough" without the extra pressures they feel from society and the media. It's so easy to forget the real source of their worth.

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  8. Seems like your kiddos have one good mama! I think the names you picked for your kiddos are darling!

    BTW, I just love your blog design!

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  9. You go girl! Keep reminding and telling them. One day your statements will mean the world to them.

    Blessings

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  10. Very insightful. You are so right! It does start young and there is still an ongoing war between good and evil. Those were awesome inspirations you had.

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  11. Hi from Sits!
    You have a lovely blog.
    I'd love if both followed each other:)

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  12. my kids have family names also i love traditional

    thanks for becoming a new follower over at the crib

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  13. Just blog hopping from the SITS roll call.

    Tell Molly & Micah to be thankful their name isn't Kim - there seems to be one on every corner!!!!

    Very cute blog!

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  14. stopping by from SITS

    It's amazing how little children begin to depreciate themselves at such a young age. I teach third graders and was giving out snack when one of the girls wouldn't eat the pretzel because she was "on a diet because her thighs were huge." It makes me so sad.

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  15. I think the names you picked for your kids are unique.
    Thank you for following. Gladly i'm following you.Your blog is so lovely.

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  16. Hi There! Thank you for visiting me yesterday to celebrate my SITS Day! U are deeply appreciated!

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  17. I know, only a celebrity's kid could get away with that. We chose names that mean something to us, so I hear you on that!

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  18. Yes. I have to remind myself daily that my identity is not in....(whatever it might be that moment) but in Christ.

    By the way, I love the bubbles on the side of your blog. It reminds me of my kids' bathroom. There are pictures of it somewhere in my blog. I think the title is Reading can be hazardous because my son TP'd the bathroom after reading about it in a book.

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