If you were a fly on the wall at my house, you'd be sure to hear your share of fussing, complaining and whining. Maybe even a slammed door or two.

But enough about me.

In the pressure cooker that's parenting, I have exploded more than once. And it's harder to clean up than spaghetti night with a toddler.

So after years spent indulging in fruitless self-flogging, I finally let go of my obsession with getting it all 'just right.' I confess...I'm not a perfect parent.

Whew. That felt good.

Now, when my son saunters in with his 42nd tardy of the school year, I let it go. When I hear myself hollering "Whatever!" at my teenage daughter, I move on.

Having it all together is overrated anyway.

And I've determined not to waste God's grace. I'll never get it just right. You won't, either. So read on, sister. If you see a little of yourself in me, I hope it helps to know that you're not alone. Nope. If you're a mom, face it. You're never, ever alone.

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Friday, October 2, 2009

Facing My Need to Let Go

It wasn’t pretty.

One day last week, I woke up to an unsightly rash around my mouth and extending down my neck.

Freakish is an adjective that comes to mind.

Let’s just say that Cover Girl had her work cut out for her.

The internal turmoil I’d been experiencing the past few weeks had finally bubbled to the surface – on display for the whole world to see.

In a previous post, I had mentioned that I am going through an especially tough parenting season.

Quite frankly, I never thought raising children would be this hard. This gutwrenching. This completely emotionally draining and excruciating.

I just assumed they'd grow up to be perfect like me.

My kids are too old for me to have complete control over their choices. And it’s a terrible feeling to know you’re about to witness a train wreck, but know you’re somewhat powerless to stop it.

What I’ve begun to consider is that maybe God is in the train wreck. Maybe those “disasters” are what God will use to draw them closer to Him and shape their destiny.

Yesterday at my Esther Bible Study, author Beth Moore said something that seemed to reinforce this: “It will often be crisis that God uses to point us in His direction.”

I want to stop the train wreck. God wants to bring something beautiful out of the rubble.

Which means I have to let go and trust Him to do His work.

Even when viewing it in progress isn’t always pretty.


  1. It's sometimes so hard to "let go and let God" as my mother says....but in the end it's worth it! He wants us to trust him and when we do the results are unbelievable!

  2. In facing rather than resisting the crisis, we ultimately find the truth. Otherwise we would just be itching and itching but never find the rash! Kathy

  3. Melinda, I understand your stress. I experienced the same thing. And even now when my kids are married, you can see the bumps ahead. This is always the hard part. Will be in prayer for you, your mouth and the kids.


  4. Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch right now. As a mom, we all know what you are describing and it hits us at different points while raising children. But, you're right in putting your faith in the man upstairs to keep you on the right path. Hang in there!

  5. Oh no, Melinda! I'm so sorry that the stressful times have boiled over onto your beautiful face.

    Yes, God is in our trainwrecks. He works ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him. I'm so grateful. Cuz parenting is NOT for the weak! And it keeps me on my knees!

  6. Sorry that things are tough right now.

    You're doing great. You're going to make it through this season.

    I read your previous post...looking forward to seeing the pic of you and Molly.

    Sweet dreams.

  7. Birthdays have always been a cool anniversary for me that somehow always goes horribly wrong - since Javi entered my life they've been a hundred times better.

    As the others have already said, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch - as I am not a believer in the Lord, I only look at it as life experience. Just remember that the things you and your children go through shape them into being strong, loving, and intelligent people.

    You can do it!

    (Heck, from what I've seen you're doing a great job. I've seen some pretty horrible parents, and you are no where near 'em!)

  8. Understand the letting go process. My kids are 12 and 16 and they are learning. I cannot control some of their choices, but I can trust God will use those choices to shape their lives. For HIS good.

    Hope you are breathing easier today!


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