If you were a fly on the wall at my house, you'd be sure to hear your share of fussing, complaining and whining. Maybe even a slammed door or two.

But enough about me.

In the pressure cooker that's parenting, I have exploded more than once. And it's harder to clean up than spaghetti night with a toddler.

So after years spent indulging in fruitless self-flogging, I finally let go of my obsession with getting it all 'just right.' I confess...I'm not a perfect parent.

Whew. That felt good.

Now, when my son saunters in with his 42nd tardy of the school year, I let it go. When I hear myself hollering "Whatever!" at my teenage daughter, I move on.

Having it all together is overrated anyway.

And I've determined not to waste God's grace. I'll never get it just right. You won't, either. So read on, sister. If you see a little of yourself in me, I hope it helps to know that you're not alone. Nope. If you're a mom, face it. You're never, ever alone.

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Monday, August 10, 2009

Swimming with the Sharks

I am snorkeling directly above a hammerhead shark.

What?! Did I just turn 40 and completely lose my mind?!

During a long day at Typhoon Lagoon Water Park with my sister and our combined five kids, I'd conquered the Crushing Gusher. Weathered the Wave Pool. Survived the Storm Slides.

I was pretty darn proud of myself. I’d earned some street cred with the kids -- and was quite pleased to call it a day.

My smug self-satisfaction, however, was soon shattered.

Molly: “Ooooo, look! There’s a ‘Shark Swim’! Let’s do that!”

Me: Oh, they have a shark tank? Yea, let’s go see the sharks.

Molly: No, you actually swim with the sharks! Awesome!

Gulp.

I mean, really, didn’t anyone see Jaws 3?! (The one where the crazed Great White gets loose in a Sea World-type park) Come on, people!

I could have wimped out. But I could just see the headline: “Mom Feeds Children to Sharks while Cowering by the Kiddie Pool!”

So there you have it. My fear of humiliation trumped my fear of snaggle-toothed predators. I would brave the deep and protect my young.

Our guide “Bob” seemed a wee bit too chipper for someone about to send us to our doom.

“You’ll be swimming with bonnetheads, hammerheads, sting rays and other tropical fish!”

A shark is a shark, Man! Ferocious, man-eating … Does it really matter what kind???!

“Oh, and be prepared. The water is 68 degrees.”

Great, Bob. If the sharks don’t get me, the hypothermia will.

“Don’t worry, the sharks are more afraid of you then you are of them,“ the lifeguard assured us.

So tell me, is that why you’re on land, Baywatch Boy?!

We were then instructed to get on our hands and knees on the shallow ledge (a perfect time for the prayer position). Then we were to push out into the 10-foot deep lagoon and use our arms to propel us.

This is about the time my 9-year-old freaked out.

Micah: What am I supposed to do, Mom?! It’s too deep!!

Me: Just grab my hand and we’ll swim together.

Micah translated this as “Grab Mom around the neck and pull her under.”

As I gasped for air, I heard a cheery voice yell: “Just relax! Swim with your arms.”

I’m about to drown in shark-infested waters. You relax, woman.

We were able to flail to the sandbar in the middle of the lagoon and regain our bearings.

Me: Okay, you can’t do that, Micah. I can’t breathe.

Micah: I can’t get down on my knees, Mom! It’s too deep!

Now I pictured a new headline: "Boy and Mom Marooned in Shark Pool! Footage at 11!"

Me (teeth chattering): You can do this. I know you can. We’ll do it together, okay?

Micah (whimpering): Okay.

We pushed off together, holding hands.

Gradually, he let go of my grasp and began swimming on his own.

I spotted the hammerhead beneath me (about three or four feet long) as I neared the steps.

And I lived to blog about it.

Today – the first day of school -- I sent Molly to swim with sharks of a different kind. And next week I’ll send Micah. Every day I release them into a sea of media, cultural and peer influences that, frankly, scare the heck out of me. I want to grasp them tight. But as they’re getting older, they’re gradually moving away. I have to gradually let them go.

I can’t shield them from every influence. I can’t be there to make every choice.

But I can be the counter influence. I’ve been troubled recently when I think of the amount of media we’ve allowed our kids to consume this summer. I can’t control the sharks outside my doors, but I do have the power to keep them from coming inside.

The sharks are always circling. So the media limits are back. But I have to do more than just limit bad influence. I need to always be deliberate in encouraging a relationship with their Creator.

Knowing their value in Him might not keep them out of the shark tank. But it will give them the ability to swim safely to shore.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:8 (New Living Translation)
Melinda

15 comments:

  1. Wow - the sharks are EVERYWHERE. Thanks for another great post and life lesson. My 3 are swimming in the same shark tank this year - oh - and your husband is one of those lifeguards on the beach.

    As much as a struggle it is to have them clinging to our necks in fear - the joy of watching them force themselves into the water alone is awesome. All 3 of mine ventured out with very individualized effort - all 3 survived day one.

    My kids are no longer in the kiddie pool - so I guess my faith better keep up the pace.

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  2. Great post, Melinda. I love your comment about at least keeping the sharks from coming in--and mostly about encouraging their relationships with the Lord. That is the best we can offer them...and listening ears to process all they encounter.

    press on!

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  3. You Swam With Sharks!

    I'm so impressed.

    And the analogy that you made about children swimming with another kind of shark.

    Even more impressive.

    Hope Molly has a wonderful week at school.

    Sweet dreams.

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  4. Wow! You're braver than me! :-)

    Great post. Thanks for the reminder of all the influences our kids face every day and the importance of being aware.

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  5. Thank you for the blessings and timeliness of these words today. My oldest is about to dive right in.

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  6. I am really impressed! As much as I love the water, I don't think I could do it. Great post! :)

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  7. Such a great post!! I'm terrified for the day that my little boy is old enough to be sent out into this world. I'm scared to see what the world we be like in the 4 or 5 years before he starts. But like you said, our Creator is in control :)

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  8. Hi Melinda! Great post again! I am right there with you in guiding our children into a deep relationship with Christ. There is no other way. Plus, knowing that as long as you are able, you will "swim right next to them." Much love to you and your family!

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  9. WOW! NOT ME! hahahaha... Eh.. nope.. really!... let me think again.. ehhh nope.. still not there! I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT! I am proud of you! :)
    This reminded me the time Robert was touching snakes... I hate snakes... as a kid I used to dream they were all over my bed sheets! But I overcome my fear and encouraged him to not fear them but respect them. He even put one around this arm! and me? WITH A BIG FAKE SMILE! All for our kids! lol

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  10. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

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  11. Wow, Melinda, I'm impressed. I swam with dolphins, but sharks? You're outta ya mind!

    Your kids must think you are brave and cool. At least for a day or two!!

    Great example for your feelings and insight about the new school year.

    Blessings*

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  12. GREAT POST Melinda!! I love it - both the story (WOW!) and your conclusions.
    x

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  13. You might just be the coolest mom ever.

    I think a shark swim earns you all kinds of street cred.

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  14. Sharks!! No way! You are one brave woman.

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