If you were a fly on the wall at my house, you'd be sure to hear your share of fussing, complaining and whining. Maybe even a slammed door or two.

But enough about me.

In the pressure cooker that's parenting, I have exploded more than once. And it's harder to clean up than spaghetti night with a toddler.

So after years spent indulging in fruitless self-flogging, I finally let go of my obsession with getting it all 'just right.' I confess...I'm not a perfect parent.

Whew. That felt good.

Now, when my son saunters in with his 42nd tardy of the school year, I let it go. When I hear myself hollering "Whatever!" at my teenage daughter, I move on.

Having it all together is overrated anyway.

And I've determined not to waste God's grace. I'll never get it just right. You won't, either. So read on, sister. If you see a little of yourself in me, I hope it helps to know that you're not alone. Nope. If you're a mom, face it. You're never, ever alone.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Christmas in July?

I am in love with Christmastime. Always have been.

I’m just not particularly “good” at Christmastime. Never have been.

I start the season with heartwarming visions of chestnuts roasting by an open fire and Jack Frost nipping at my nose (okay, I’m in Florida, so maybe not, but you get the idea.)

By late December the only thing roasted is my credit card and an endless to-do list is nipping at my heels.

My lofty autumn intentions quickly drown in a meaningless sea of winter busyness and obligation.

An embarrassing case in point:

A few years ago, our church started coordinating a Shoebox Drive for a ministry called Samaritan’s Purse. The idea is to fill the shoeboxes with toys, toiletries and other items, gift wrap and box them for distribution to needy children in Third World countries.

Inspired to participate in this act of holiday goodwill, I eagerly picked up two shoeboxes one Sunday in October.

This is the spirit of Christmas, I thought. I’ll take the kids to the store. We’ll lovingly and carefully choose each item for the shoebox. We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. This will be wonderful.

Fast-forward to late November and just a few days before the cut-off date for the shoeboxes.

I realize that with our insane holiday schedule, my Norman Rockwell moment in the aisles of Target just ain’t gonna happen. Nope. Instead, I make a mad dash to the Dollar Store, throw things into my cart as quickly as I can and frantically assemble the shoeboxes the night before. Can’t you feel the Christmas love?

It gets worse.

The next day, I completely FORGET about the shoeboxes. Plum slipped my mind. Too caught up in all that holiday cheer.

It’s official. I am a horrible person.

The shoeboxes actually ended up on a shelf in my garage, where my husband stumbled upon them, not one, but count ‘em, TWO YEARS later!!

Apparently waiting on a shoebox from my family is akin to Samaritan’s Curse.

Every year I say it’s going to be different. But it’s a funny thing. You actually have to DO something different in order for something to actually BE different.

So, that’s why I’m talking about Christmas in July.

I need a game plan NOW. Decisions about how much to spend, which gifts to buy, what events to attend need to be made long before I’m in danger of being swept into the holiday hurricane.

When Jesus was born in a manager 2000 years ago, I’m most certain He didn’t intend for His birthday to be celebrated by piles of debt, mounds of stress and loads of guilt.

This year, I want the focus to be a Person instead of a present. And I want to celebrate God’s grace instead of man’s greed.

So are you with me? Let’s help each other out.

Share a suggestion for how we can start planning NOW to make this Christmas one to remember.

P.S. Just so you know, the shoeboxes finally did make it to the church. Somewhere right now a child is enjoying outdated toys and expired shampoo.
Melinda

14 comments:

  1. LOL! I'm so with you on the shoe box thing...I have had good intentions of getting mine done early in the past, and last year didn't even get them out, I'm ashamed to say the small things I had picked up for it ended up under our own tree for one of my kids...I too know how it feels to be a horrible person ;)

    I love the idea of simplifying Christmas gifts and getting back to basics and the real meaning of Christmas, it just never seems to work out that way and I'm still paying off last years christmas bill even now :(

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  2. Amen Sister! I love this line

    "When Jesus was born in a manager 2000 years ago, I’m most certain He didn’t intend for His birthday to be celebrated by piles of debt, mounds of stress and loads of guilt."

    I whole heartedly agree and starting now is the right thing to do - proactive - not reactive!

    So I write the list of the people I am purchasing for on the last page in my prayer journal and I actually pray over my list of people and ask God to show me something meaningful or help me to find a deal.

    Then I plan a outlet shopping day with my sisters around September for in November - with babysitters and all. Whatever I don't find for my list before then I finish on that trip to the outlets - so in December I focus only on Jesus, wrapping presents, baking and attending get togethers - the present purchasing is done.

    By the way, right now is the time to find deals - after July 4th everything goes on sale.
    Courtney
    http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com

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  3. Expired shampoo....LOL!

    You know what? I am finding that there are a lot of clearance deals going on at stores everywhere because summer is going to wind down soon and stores are more focused with "School items" and "supplies" and toys will not be a hot item.

    I start looking now and I put them in a food storage room I have in my basement. (It also works when my kid has been invited to a b-day party. Then, I go "shopping" in my basement)

    It works for clothes too. I was at Kohls the other day and on the 80% racks they have sweaters. Now is a good time to get them for gifts because in the west, it gets cold in 2 months!

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  4. Hilarious, but endearingly honest post! LOL! I am with you on the let's plan and get this "thing" in order idea. The hubs and I have already begun putting away money & organizing our time to save for Christmas this year. No credit cards at all anymore cause we cut them up- cash only this time around.

    I've also taken to hand crafting some scarves, hats and mittens to save money on buying clothes when we get to New York. As for giving back I'm thinking of doing a toy & supply drive with the women in my bible study group. and Courtney is right, there are a lot of christmas in july sales - you can even try going to kmart to set up some items on layaway - every little bit helps ;) thanks for sharing.

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  5. Great ideas, everyone! The word that keeps sticking out in my mind is SIMPLE (I think Widge said that, too). I always feel the need to do too much and I end up feeling like a wrung-out dishrag!

    I'm going to print out your ideas and try to put them into practice NOW! ;0)

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  6. We love sending the shoeboxes! My daughter wanted to ad stationary and a picture of herself in the boxes so the child would know who sent it :) To her surprise the other day, we found a letter in the mailbox from Ghana! A little girl named Gifty had received the shoebox! It was a short letter, but my daughter was so excited. She wrote her back right away! It's cool to actually see the fruit of your service.

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  7. How funny!

    I used to be so good at making those shoeboxes, but then something happened and for the last decade or so I just can't seem to remember to get them done. What's worse is that our city is a hub for Samaritan's Purse and my family actually volunteers to help get the shoeboxes inspected and sent out and I STILL can't remember to get them ready.

    I must say that you're doing well this year if you're planning Christmas in July! I guess my only planning for the holiday season is to pray that all the relative get along or stay home!

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  8. April,
    I hopped over to your blog yesterday and saw that you had written about shoeboxes, too. Great minds think alike.

    Love the post you had about your daughter receiving a letter from the child who rec'd. her shoebox! That is so cool.

    I am determined that my shoeboxes will not sit on a garage shelf this year!! Thanks for the inspiration! ;0)

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  9. I am the same way! I never participate in those blog swaps because of this same reason.

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  10. Oh, those shoeboxes! You're so funny! You made me laugh when you said you made a mad dash to the dollar store...panic mode, right?

    I really like the idea of possibly "making" gifts. It comes from the heart and it's easy on the wallet. I remember Oprah did a show on this exact topic last season.

    Just found your blog through MBC! I am now following! You can find me at http://www.thetamom.com

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  11. Hey Melinda, good on you for thinking ahead! I totally know how you feel with the craziness at Christmas. Last year I started planning in August/Spetmeber. We started a Christmas Project with the kids to get them doing chores/making stuff to sell to raise money for an orphanage in Uganda through Tear Fund/Watoto.
    We raised $392 but it was a lot of work to keep the kids focussed. My plan was to invite friends and neighbours to join us with their families in a project and then all celebrate together with a fun Christmas party at the beginning of December... sadly my father-in-law passed away three days before the party. You can imagine we didn't feel like celebrating. However we did a scaled back version the following week (after the funeral) because the kids had worked so hard. It was a huge effort, but I think it really helped the kids to think about others at Christmas and we did have fun making stuff together. It was also great blog material! (the stories are under the "christmas" category on my page. xx

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  12. Simoney,
    Great idea ... I love that. Oh, that I could be that consistent and organized! But maybe I could do something on a smaller scale, since I am starting in July this year! ;0)

    Thanks for the inspiration!

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  13. LOL! Loved this post!!!!

    Every year I also have great intentions but it seems that I get in a bind during December. Roasted credit cards...LOL!!! That would be us too.

    I usually start thinking about Christmas gifts in the fall and I try very hard not to go overboard. I have absolutely NO IDEA what to do this year though.

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

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  14. Here from the Saturday Sharefest. I love your blog. So very cute and I totally identify with your post. I have been there.

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