Summer just turned up the heat.
The first shot was fired in May with these six little words: “Mom, I need a new swimsuit.”
On its surface, that one innocuous statement shouldn’t incite violence.
In a “perfect” world, Molly and I would skip on down to Marshall’s, find a wide array of tasteful swimsuits to choose from and amicably decide on a style and price that’s acceptable to both of us.
Instead, our summer shopping exchange went something like this:
Me: How ‘bout this one?
Molly: That’s really nice, Mom … for a three year old! (with accompanying eye rolling and deep sigh)
Molly: Can I try this one on? (holding up two pieces of cloth, visible only by microscope)
Me: That’d be great, Molly … maybe when you're a TWENTY-three year old!
Molly: Okay, well what do you want me to wear, Mom, THIS???!!! (holds up granny-style, one-piece bathing suit.)
Actually, Molly, this is more what I had in mind ….
Now, just try and tell me that won’t attract some attention.
After much drama and discussion, we finally settled on a compromise: A two-piece with boy shorts.
It wasn’t exactly what she wanted and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but it WAS something we could both live with …
A declaration of peace was reached. We'd both live to fight another day.
The perfectionist that still lurks within me wants things black and white. Neat and tidy. All or nothing. I’ve found that doesn’t always work in parenting – especially as Molly has hit adolescence. The more I can see things from her point of view, the better our relationship and communication.
Sometimes negotiation isn’t possible. I must win the battle.
On the other hand, compromise isn’t always retreat.
Knowing the difference can be impossibly tricky.
It takes wisdom. More than I’ve got.
But when I ask for God’s wisdom, He always meets me on the battlefield – even when it’s in the middle of the swimsuit aisle.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 (New Living Translation)
Hey there! Just visiting your adorable blog over from SITS!!
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is tough to get swimsuits that aren't all skin! Good luck with that as she gets older!
Haha, loved your post (visiting from Christian Mom Bloggers)! This is one of those reasons why I was thankful that I had a boy. Teenage stage! I'm sure boys have their own deals that will slam me unexpectedly when we get to that stage! I just know what girls are like at that age because I WAS one and had two sisters. I had a brother, too, but because he has Down's he was different than most teenage boys. Thank the Lord for the strength and wisdom He gives us when we ask!
ReplyDeleteThank you again Melinda for your insight into my future!!! Not being there yet, but well on our way gives me hope and wisdom in the beauty of compromise! Much love to you Beloved Sister!
ReplyDeleteOh, I remember those days. Hey, not that I'm that old or anything.:) Yes, I went to the Father many times during the "preteen/teenage years." He always helped.
ReplyDeleteYou're doing a good job.
Blessings*
oh that is a battle that I am not looking forward to with my daughter. Thankfully, I have a few years to prepare.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is just so cute. I stopped by from SITS to say hello and welcome you.
Man, I'm a few years behind you. I know I keep saying that, but the whole "swimsuit" thing is extremely tricky. it's good you found a "middle" a "comprimise."
ReplyDeleteCan't we just force our cute daughters to wear a potato sack so that the boys can't see? Our little girls grow up so fast!
Oh, the fashion world has treated us moms terribly with the swimsuits for girls. And it never gets easier, I am sorry to say.
ReplyDeleteDropped by from SITS.
I love this post, but I always love what you write.
ReplyDeleteYou teach me something, and at the same time, you make me smile.
Have a great weekend!
Hey--where can I get that first bathing suit you pictured? lol. I have a six year old who swears she's 13!
ReplyDeleteHey! Cute post... I think the boy leg shorts are a great compromise. By the way Melinda, just wanted to let you know that I have added you to my blogroll (only 'friends" or my favourite blogs make it there) - thanks so much for praying for my dad BTW. He had a triple heart bypass on Wednesday just gone and is recovering well. xx
ReplyDeleteCompromise...always makes it easier.
ReplyDeleteHats-off, Mom!
yes, been there and am there now... it has become increasingly harder each year to find appropriate swimsuits for my daughter (who is now eleven - going on 20).... I must have went to 30 or more stores to find one that covered her enough this Spring.... and the other day, I found a few tankini suits at Justice (Just For Girls) on an amazing CLEARANCE!!! http://www.shopjustice.com
ReplyDeleteYou are a very wise mom and I say that because I'm the mom of two teens, one of them female, and I know the difficulties of maintaining peace and boundaries all at the same time. I like your way of doing things.
ReplyDeleteI also like your writing style- very witty and easy to read.
Glad to see you guys reached a compromise! Stopping by from SITS! Have a great day!
ReplyDelete