My Idol? Performance

On the eve of the latest American Idol coronation, I began thinking about what the AI Judges might be like as parents. (Cue dream sequence …)

The Performance:
Johnny takes the stage to show off his newly acquired bicycle riding skills. He starts off strong, but suddenly careens out of control, taking out Ryan Secrest in the process. Undaunted, he gets back up, pedals vigorously (though wobbling wildly) and even manages to pop a wheelie to impress Simon.

The Critique:
Randy: Okay, so check it out, check it out … Dawg, dawg … that was just awright for me. I mean you started out okay, but that crazy move with Ryan in the middle? I didn’t get it. It just didn’t do it for me. Hey, just trying to keep it real.

Kara: Well, I appreciate the effort, but I just didn’t see any artistry in your performance. You really didn’t show us what kind of bicyclist you’re going to be.

Paula: I could really see that magic quality in your pedaling. But you’re like a butterfly still trapped in his cocoon … No, I believe you remind me of a newborn colt …. I love puppies.

Simon (rolling his eyes): Look. Let’s be honest. That was a complete and utter disaster. The only good part was when you took out Secrest.

Not a pretty picture.

But if I’m honest, I have to admit that my kids have been the unfortunate recipients of the same kinds of scathing critiques and useless blather.

I hate this about myself, but of all the judges, I probably most resemble Simon. There’s a part of me that wants everything and everyone to be ‘perfect.’

One of the biggest traps I fight to avoid as a parent is valuing performance over process and progress.

Think about it: Why isn’t American Idol just one week? Why not crown a winner after the first performance? Why spend all the time and effort of an entire five month ordeal?

Well, aside from the almighty advertising dollar, a tremendous amount of growth and maturity occurs over that time. The contestants make mistakes. They fail and experience disappointment. They discover what works and what doesn't. They slowly develop their talents and discover who they are.

In other words, they learn.

My children aren’t so different. They fail. They make mistakes. They take one step forward and two steps back. Just like the performers, each experience causes them to stretch and grow.

I am reminded of a lyric from the great songstress and theologian Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana: “Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s on the other side, It’s the climb.”

When I praise and value my kids’ progress and let them learn from their mistakes, I give them the same kind of grace and strength I get from my Father. That will always makes them winners.